*Belinda's birthday

*Halloween

*Christmas

xD

i'm looking through my Friends

and i went on uhmmm...

Marialia

wow...her blogs are :o

and her pics are amazing

and she has great fashion :D

and yeppp

i'm taking uhmm Visual Communications

{Graphic Design}

at school

it's pretty rad :D

and fun!!!

:D

and uhm hopefully i can study like...

maybe fashion

i'm kinda getting more into that

i love making bows and necklaces

and i'm pretty creative so i really want to go for that as well

i mean...i still want to be a Veterinarian

but like..with other things too

lol

i'm into

*photography

*art

* i love to use Paint on my computer

and just like..play with pictures

*at school i love to use Photoshop to just mess

around with pictures and see what i can do

*i loveeee to draw :D

ahhh i'm just happy for no reason lol

singing along to that makes me...nostalgic...<3

i wish i was back in December 2008 ...

it was the best time in my life so far...........

*sigh*

i want my life back to how it was...

i miss how it was

i miss...him....

i swear it feels like i've lost this....

"this heart...it beats...beats for only you....

my heart..is yours..."

♥

with this one, Joanna

my head fucking hurts

i have a fever

i'm dizzy

i keep throwing up

i feel horrible

my throat hurts

and ughh

i just read something that left me -->   </3

*sigh*

???

8.12.07-6.04.08

FUCK i feel like crap

maybe i should've never gotten into this

maybe i should just disappear

i hate being fucking sad

but lately that's all that i am

A MESS

everyone who used to talk to me should know

that i was always a little hyper & euphoric kiddo

and now i'm like...breaking down

*sigh*

so yeah....</3

i doubt i believe in anything

i know i made a fucking mistake but..ugh....w.e.....</3

me..crying

over something i can't control

and neither can he

trust me..after one year it does only get harder

much harder

*sigh*

i don't know anymore

i'm a fucking mess

and i really need some

reassurance

something to tell me that this is just something being wasted...

</3

*sigh*

i really need to talk to my Silly Bestie. or  Jillian. or Punkie. or EMMA...:'(

or to Cute Panda..or to Max

:'(

i just need to talk to someone about this....

and i doubt i'll be on here when

someone is here to talk

*sigh*

i'll be signed-in but not on

the computer

fuck.....</3

i have been feeling horrible these past few months

Derek and i almost have 1 year & 3 months together

but we rarely talk

it's getting harder and harder

i need him so much :'[

i hate this..

ughhh....

yesterday was my Graduation

it was amazing...and i absolutely loved it

i sat there,watching the video Paul Bell [classmate.former advisee.]

had made of the Seniors.

it was as if i wasn't at my own Graduation

it was amazing though

as i sat there...speech after speech...it still wasn't sinking in that i wasn't going to

Los Angeles Leadership Academy Div. II

next year

*sigh*

tears came down my face as i thought about my years spent there...the people i've met

some of them leaving the state to pursue a better education

i don't know if i will ever see them again

and i thought about the one girl that meant so much to me

Kassandra.

my onlt TRUE and REAL friend at that school

all those years i had been hanging around with people that i didn't really have a connection with

and the she came into my life and we instantly connected

too bad she was a Freshman...because just as our friendship was growing...we are getting seperated :'l

*sigh*

she means so fucking much to me.

we both cried alot because we were going to miss eachother deeply

and i knwo we can still hang out but it won't be the same

everyday i'd see her in the halls and she'd randomly poke me...because she knows

how ticklish i am..

and we would always rush into a hug

and i remember one time she helped me beat up Dawnte XD

i'm kidding...we didn't beat him up...but she helped me take my watch back that he had taken

and wow....so many times that we have shared

we always gave eachother things, randomly

i love her so much

one day i gave her my Alice In Wonderland doll

because that's her favorite cartoon Disney movie and

she said it would be our child.

and that i would be the husband and she'd be the wife and we

would parent the kid. lol

so ever since then. i am Cupcake Hubby & she is Cupcake Wife

i love her so much.

ohh...and she said she has an 18-incher XD

and she named me KinkyJo XD lmao

damn...i'm so glad i met her

oohhh...ummm GRADUATIOn

umm...so yeah. she went to my Graduation

and she had bought me bracelts and she made me a kitty at Buil-A-Bear-Workshop

and she named it CuppyCakee

*sigh*

ohh.... "our song" is

"OnlyYou" by ElvisPresley

oh oh...hahha

but ummm wow. Graduation was amazing...i just have no words for it

afterwards i went to a Buffet place with my mom.stepdad.Helen.Gaby.["cousins"]

and yeah. we went to TreasureHunt[a store]

and i got some awesome shades. lol.

ahh....i'll write more about Graduation and post pics later. :]

i've missed you guys so fucking much. my life's been shit lately but lets just forget about that.

 lets look at this on the bright side. i appreciate all the adds.

and for those of you who don't know mehh my name ishh Joanna :D i have tons of nicknames though.

hehe. um. well get to know me :] i love talking to new ppl.

ask for my numbahh. we can text. talk. whatever. :] 

I MISS YOU GUYS!!! and i'm glad i'm finally back onnnn!!

♥

[[ April 14,2008 ]]

baby. i love you so much. i hope you get on so we can talk like we used to

 ♥

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